It's 12:41 am. I can't sleep! Too many thoughts racing through my head. A lot has been going on lately. I'm recovering from surgery. I feel pretty good, I guess! Still a little sore. I will be happy when this is all said and done! I don't like to feel weak but with each day...I'm feeling better!
Team Jual's Gems had a very successful fundraiser Monday night! That was fun! Thank you to all who came out to support our team and help make a difference in the fight against breast cancer. I truly have the most amazing family and friends! I'm so thankful and so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life! At the same time, I get so overwhelmed. I feel sad and undeserving of such support. Who am I to receive all this love? I'm just a girl who has cancer. Tears....let's move on....
I just hope that my story no matter the outcome makes a difference! If my story helps one person, it all worth it, right?
Life is short...I'm need to stop wasting so much time. I need to love more, laugh more, show more kindness. I just feel like I receive a lot of this and I don't feel as if I give it back! I'm ashamed of myself. I get too busy caught up in silly matters. I want to slow down. I want to give back! I feel as if there is something that I'm suppose to do. I don't know what that is but until I figure it out. I will love and be kind!
So I've become very fond of PEARs lately. Why, well each letter in the word pear represents the first letter in the names of my sweet family. So I found this blog background with the bird and the pear. Perfect for my blog!
Princess Muffins (the E) starts kindergarten in 3 weeks! Another swarm of emotions. I'm excited for her to start school. But I'm sad also! Once she starts school, she will be gone all day! I'm going to miss her so much! These are the last 3 weeks I will get to spend with her as a "toddler" if that makes sense. I know she is clearly not a toddler anymore. But she is my baby and we are getting ready to embark on a new chapter in our journey together! SCHOOL....I don't know how I feel about this!? I'm going to follow her around for the next 3 weeks, squeeze in snuggle time as much as possible, and try to make her feel special all day, everyday! She is so special to me....I just hope she knows that! I hope she knows that mommy loves her more than anything. I hope she knows that I love the way she smells, even the stinky thumb that she sucks all day. I hope she knows what a gift she has been to me! My day will not be the same without her. The house will be quiet and I know the boys will miss her too! I hope she likes school, learns a lot, and makes friends. She's going to love it!
Change is very hard for me, which is odd because nothing ever stays the same! Life is a constant change. How do I say good-bye? I look forward to the future with hope and faith!
I better get some sleep!
1 comment:
oh jual, you so do not need to feel like you're undeserving or not giving enough!! you didn't ask for the hand you were dealt, but you have handled it with such grace and dignity, and THAT is such a gift to all who know you!! you deserve all the love and support that you've been given, and have the right to focus on yourself and loving on your beautiful family-which i know you are! i know it's easy for me to say, but just try to focus only on today, and try not to worry about tomorrow. there's a great song called "today is the day" by lincoln brewster that is all about doing just that! you're such a great mommy and i know your children know just how much you love them!! i just wish i was closer so i could be there to help you! you are always in my prayers! love, nicole
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