New Year's Eve 2009

A moment to reflect! It always strikes me funny that when in the act of making memories, it doesn't alway seem like much. But when I look back at my photos and scrapbooks, I'm in awe of what great times we had! Just another reminder to live in the moment, cherish each day!

A Wonderful Christmas!

We simply had the most wonderful Christmas! All 3 birds are at a great age for all the magic and excitement of Christmas!

We started off the holiday Christmas Eve, we went to Uncle A and Aunt T's house. The Woodstocks (grandparents, new name given to them by medium bird) were there. We had a delicious lunch and opened presents. We had a lovely time! Thanks, Uncle A and Aunt T!

Afterwards we went to church. We went to Uncle A's church, St. Joe's. It had the most beautiful nativity scene that I have ever seen! I really enjoyed listening to the priest talk about the true meaning of the season. To celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ AND to spend quality time with our families! I loved that a priest said this! I love Christmas! It is the season to celebrate the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ! I hold that number 1 reason to the highest standards but in that reason we have the number 2 reason to celebrate...Family! Not only did God give us his son but he also gave us family. They both equal LOVE! God loves us!!!

Christmas Eve night went to my Aunt T and Uncle F's house to celebrate with the Egan Clan! This has been a tradition in my family for many years! Some of the best memories of Christmas involve this celebration. There's like 100 of us and we all squish together in one house, there's laughter and hugs, there's old home movies, and there is so much love! I love my family to pieces and thank them for some great times!

We drive home to prepare for Santa Claus! On the way home, the kids look for Santa and Rudolph's nose in the sky! The same exact thing that I use to do as a child. I drive with a smile on my face! I'm so happy to be there in that moment!

We get home, put the cookies and milk out and the reindeer food. Ella writes a note to Santa, which we include a welcome to our house and a thank you! We need to show our gratitude, not just the gimmes. :-) Off to bed they go! I watch the last half hour of 'It's a Wonderful Life' and cry like a baby because it's so true!! Then I'm off to bed but right before, I check the Internet to see where Santa is....YES, I still believe!!!!!!!

I couldn't sleep all night! I was so excited!! Christmas morning is the most magical of all times. Miracles, hope, and joy! All you have to do is believe!

Finally at 6:30 AM, I get up! I make some coffee and read my bible...a little bit of quite Christmas prayer...

"An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a ...sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." Luke 2:8-12

Finally at 7:30 AM I hear someone up....could it be the kids?!?! No, just Al! He comes down the stairs and we share Merry Christmas, Honey! Then sit in silence for a few. I then jump up and say I'm going to wake them up! Am I the only parent that had to drag their kids out of bed at almost 8 in the morning!?!? What is wrong with these kids, don't they know it's Christmas....that Santa Claus came!?!?

So, every Christmas since princess was born....I walk down the stairs with my little birds in my arms, while Daddy has the video camera. All four of us walk around the corner and then they all run with laughter towards the Christmas Tree! Priceless!!! For the next hour we open presents. We hear....that's what I asked for! Santa was listening! I love this! Wow! What's this, I didn't ask for this? Thank you! I don't want this! The best reaction, I think was from little bird, Ry....when he opened his SLIPPERS!!! (The only thing he asked for this year.) LOL!! So cute!! We caught that on tape!!! Thank goodness!!!

We clean up, have some breakfast and wait for round 2 with The Woodstocks! Then round 3 with Grandma and Grandpa Beach and company!

We had a delicious dinner! And then another favorite part of the day. In my sunroom, gathered with my mom, sisters, and niece! We have some wine and just talk and laugh!! Again, I have smile on my face...just to be in that moment! These are the moments, when all the excitement has calmed down but it's still exciting, the moment when you are so thankful to be alive!

The night comes to an end! I'm sad because we have to wait a whole year to come and go before we can do this all over again. And I have that annoying thought again, will I be here again next year? I quickly suppress it and remember that I will not cry because it's over, I will smile because it happened!!

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas!!!

Under Construction...

Pictures to come soon!

My Super Heros!!!

another reminder that I'm living with a deadly disease...

Cancer sucks, every time I get into the ZONE of living my normal life and being happy and content, cancer comes and stomps all over me..............GO AWAY CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course, I'm trying not to spiral into a sea of sadness today. I'm just playing with the boys and re-decorating my house! That always makes me happy!!!

Well, I went to the doctors yesterday for my routine treatment. I don't actually see the doctor at these appt. but she has an AM meeting with the nurses and discusses any concerns. The nurse started out by saying that Dr. W wanted to know if I wouldn't mind waiting until Jan to do my follow up scans. The Dr. said she felt comfortable waiting and she didn't want scans to interfere with holidays and such. I said sure no problem, I prefer it that way! She then said to me, that it would all depend of my blood work next month, we still might have to do scans in November. I said why, she said b/c my tumor markers were up last month. They have doubled, 19 to 44. (when I first diagnosed the # was 96, so 44 is pretty high). She then told me not to worry (easier said then done) that a lot could play into the fact that the #'s where up including inflammation, hence I just had surgery and the fact that my treatment that I had been on (the shot and pill) had not been working for the past year, that's why I had surgery in the first place.

So we are waiting until Nov. 19 to redo the blood work, that will give us 2 full months back on the medication and 3 month post surgery, and hopefully then the # will be back to normal.

Until then I will ...

"Pray, hope and don't worry. Trust in the infinite goodness of almighty God."
~St. Pio of Pietcrelcina

Hugs,
Jual

WOW, WOW, WOW!!!!

The walk was simply a remarkable experience!! We had so much fun! The DC walk alone raised over 5.5 million dollars; we are getting closer to a cure!! Just to have been a small part of that is so cool to me! I have already signed up to do it again next year!!!

I was interviewed for an article in our local paper about Jual’s Gems and why we were walking in the 3-Day! I have no idea what I said b/c I was so nervous. I’ll have to wait to read it myself when it’s published. But as I was walking the 60 miles, I thought about that question a lot. I walked for many reasons, but this statement sums it up. I walked for all those affected by cancer and I’m walking for the future. A future of watching my children grow, a future without breast cancer.

I saw a breast cancer license plate 2 days before the walk, it said “MSMYSIS”! I almost broke down in tears. I don’t want that for my sisters, I don’t want them to have to miss me. I need to be here with them and I will do everything I can to make that come true.

I’m walking for my children….don’t you love this picture! This is my friend Becca! The team had been looking for that flag all weekend so we could carry it but never found it. When Becca was picking up her luggage on Sunday after closing ceremonies, she found it! This flag is why I walked…for my 3 little gem birds!

That will be my mission for next year to find that flag! My fighting force is my children and I do all things for them!! We did have the honor of holding and walking with this great flag!

This is my neighbor and dear friend, Michelle walking for her neighbor (that’s me)! :-)

Camping was fun too! That was the only thing that I was worried about, since I had never really been camping before! The sea of pink tents was definitely a sight to see! We were hot the first night, sleeping on top of our sleeping bags and then freezing the second night. We did get rained on the first night but not too bad…we were already in our tents and everything was covered in plastic!! We survived out in the wilderness. We even had a little “campfire”, AKA a lantern!

This was just one small section....there were many many more tents!!!

The 60 mile journey was a roller coaster of emotions. From opening ceremony to the physical challenge of getting up and to keep walking mile after mile, especially toward the end of each day when our feet were sore! We met some very nice and interesting people, heard some sad and happy stories. Sometimes we laughed so hard that even our stomach muscles hurt. We cried and we cried, sometimes for very good reasons and sometimes we didn’t even know why. On Sunday in the holding area, we were all so happy to be reunited with our families. Lots of hugs and kisses!

Once it got closer to closing ceremonies, all of the participants of the walk were separated by crew, walkers, and survivors. The tradition is for the survivors to walk in last as a celebration. The 3 survivors of my team got ready to honored by our family, fellow walkers, and crew.

As we lined up to walk into closing ceremonies, I realized that I along with my friends and fellow survivor sisters, Kathy and Erica would be the first of the survivors to walk into the closing ceremony onto the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in our Nation’s Capital! What an awesome experience!!! All three of us had tears of joy and just release of emotions! I can’t even describe the feeling, it was a goose bump moment!!

Thank you to all of my team members for all of the time, blood, sweat, and tears that went into this commitment of a 3 day, 60 mile walk and the efforts of a $2300 fundraising goal!!

WE DID IT!!!

Looking forward to next year!! Who’s interested?

I'm so excited...

I can't believe the walk is almost here!! I'm very excited but nervous at the same time! I've been running around for the past week getting supplies for the 3 days. I'm packing and mentally preparing myself for this weekend! Everything in my duffel bag is in plastic bags just in case of rain. There is a 40% chance of rain on Saturday, let's all do no rain dance!!! That would just be miserable if it rained on us!! I got my pink gear and some fun accessories for us to decorate our tents and such! I will post pictures and update the blog as soon as I can!! Wish me luck!!

Thanks for all the support!!! Go team!!

One more week......Breast Cancer 3-DAY here we come!!!

From left to right: Sara Vorce, Robyn Burns, Michelle Natysin, Becca Maguire, Jennifer Toussaint, and Lori Kaye.

This is my friend Erica Hutchinson, she is also walking with Jual's Gems and she too is a breast cancer survivor and a true inspiration!

Team Jual's Gems!! I love you!!! Thank you for walking for all those affected by cancer!!!

Foto Friday

Foto Friday....

Blessings....

2007, 2008, 2009 and counting!

I'm so blessed to have 2 years with my little man along for the ride!! Statistics didn't give me 2 years. I believe in miracles! I hope to have many more years with him!!! I love you, Ryder!!

Ryder had dinosaur camp this week with his big brother! They had fun!! In the class was another little boy and his grandmother. Ryder formed a special bond with this woman. Playing with her, trying to scare her with the dinosaurs, holding her hand, waiting for her as we walked outside. Yesterday when we left...they hugged good bye. Ryder gave her a kiss on the chest area. She then informed me that she just had heart surgery and that she was going to be better because of his kiss. She didn't know about my cancer (b/c I like to remain anonymous). It spoke to me as a sign! Maybe he is a little healer, helping save lives. He saved mine!!! He was meant to be born, we all know that!! The little guy was a fighter and survived the not so peaceful womb experience. He is here for a reason!!! I thank God and all the angels watching over us!!!

I can't sleep and what's with PEARs...

It's 12:41 am. I can't sleep! Too many thoughts racing through my head. A lot has been going on lately. I'm recovering from surgery. I feel pretty good, I guess! Still a little sore. I will be happy when this is all said and done! I don't like to feel weak but with each day...I'm feeling better!

Team Jual's Gems had a very successful fundraiser Monday night! That was fun! Thank you to all who came out to support our team and help make a difference in the fight against breast cancer. I truly have the most amazing family and friends! I'm so thankful and so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life! At the same time, I get so overwhelmed. I feel sad and undeserving of such support. Who am I to receive all this love? I'm just a girl who has cancer. Tears....let's move on....

I just hope that my story no matter the outcome makes a difference! If my story helps one person, it all worth it, right?

Life is short...I'm need to stop wasting so much time. I need to love more, laugh more, show more kindness. I just feel like I receive a lot of this and I don't feel as if I give it back! I'm ashamed of myself. I get too busy caught up in silly matters. I want to slow down. I want to give back! I feel as if there is something that I'm suppose to do. I don't know what that is but until I figure it out. I will love and be kind!

So I've become very fond of PEARs lately. Why, well each letter in the word pear represents the first letter in the names of my sweet family. So I found this blog background with the bird and the pear. Perfect for my blog!

Princess Muffins (the E) starts kindergarten in 3 weeks! Another swarm of emotions. I'm excited for her to start school. But I'm sad also! Once she starts school, she will be gone all day! I'm going to miss her so much! These are the last 3 weeks I will get to spend with her as a "toddler" if that makes sense. I know she is clearly not a toddler anymore. But she is my baby and we are getting ready to embark on a new chapter in our journey together! SCHOOL....I don't know how I feel about this!? I'm going to follow her around for the next 3 weeks, squeeze in snuggle time as much as possible, and try to make her feel special all day, everyday! She is so special to me....I just hope she knows that! I hope she knows that mommy loves her more than anything. I hope she knows that I love the way she smells, even the stinky thumb that she sucks all day. I hope she knows what a gift she has been to me! My day will not be the same without her. The house will be quiet and I know the boys will miss her too! I hope she likes school, learns a lot, and makes friends. She's going to love it!

Change is very hard for me, which is odd because nothing ever stays the same! Life is a constant change. How do I say good-bye? I look forward to the future with hope and faith!

I better get some sleep!

Please help support our team fundraising efforts for the Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk, proceeds benefiting the Susan G. Komen for the Cure!

Jual's Gems invites you to come have dinner, drinks, and fun at

Mango Mike's
4458 Duke Street
Alexandria, VA 22304
703-370-3800

Monday, August 10, 2009
5pm-10pm

Please present flyer to your server, in order for our team to receive a donation from the restaurant! See me at Mango Mike's, I will have the flyer!!!

Dining Room & Deck dining only! We look forward to seeing you there!!! Children are welcome!

Beach Highlights #1

Once Again...

I go "under the knife" again tomorrow. I'm scared, nervous, and angry! But it's just another bump in my path of life! I will recover and be back in the saddle soon enough! Please pray for a swift recovery. (oophorectomy/out patient)

I also want to share this video!! It was created for my team for the Breast Cancer 3-DAy!!! It's very powerful and inspiring! It bought me to tears but was a nice reminder to keep fighting and to remember that this is all happening for a reason.

http://animoto.com/play/mY70tHQNTPCjCOxlAXxR6w?utm_campaign=share_email&utm_medium=email&utm_source=share_email?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=share&utm_campaign=one_click_share

I hope to post pictures of our beach trips by the end of the week!!! Come back soon!!!

~HUGS

I'm walking for a cure!

Yesterday, I went to an expo for the Breast Cancer 3-day! I'm so happy I went because now I'm super excited about the walk!! My team, "Jual's Gems" (of course) has 8 wonderful ladies, all raising $2300 each to benefit Susan G. Komen. I know the walk is going to be very challenging but fun and exciting! It's going to an adventure we will never forget. It will also be very emotional!! I'm going to have so fun with my friends and laugh, talk and enjoy some girl time. But I have a feeling, I will also be crying A LOT!! I might even regret being there for brief moments in time because the pain and fears that I constantly suppress will be right there in my face. I will miss my 3 little birds and "AC" (Alex's is new code name). But I will remind myself that it's all for the bigger picture!! I will be there so that hopefully in the future there will be no breast cancer. I will be there so that a young mothers in the future can have their babies and enjoy every moment with them without the fear of the big bad wolf chasing her down. I'm walking for a cure!

Please help me in my efforts if you can!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
http://www.the3day.org/site/TR/Walk/WashingtonDCEvent?px=3304713&pg=personal&fr_id=1303&et=rgqr6X2Syd0ITIeWoITLew..&s_tafId=85068

short update...

Isn't this a cute picture of my 3 little birds!
I had a PET scan a few weeks ago. At first they came back with a stable report but then my doctor called me and said that after talking to the radiologist, she wanted me to have a follow up CT scan to look at my lungs. There has been a few "spots" on the right lung that we have been watching for 2 years now (3mm and 4mm in size). They have not grown or changed in 2 years. Could they be cancer, we didn't really know but with no change we assumed they were just some benign spot or scar tissue. Well, this time around there is a new spot measuring 3mm and several other spots too small to measure but there. So now we are 99% sure it is the breast cancer that has now spread to the lungs. That's the bad news! But the good news is we are just going to wait and re-scan in September to see if there is any change. If there is no change we will continue with the current treatment, with the reasoning being that it's really slow growing tumors and we will want to use the current treatment for as long as we can. If there is change/growth then I will have to face chemo again. :-( I'm not happy about this but knew it was a huge possibility, so I've mentally prepared myself for this. I just move on with hope that we find a cure!

Quote Day!

Okay, so I need to come up with some weekly ritual to blog! My medical life is quiet, which is wonderful! My mom life not so quiet but that's even more wonderful! I'm super busy all the time but I promise to slow down sometimes and share the adventures of me and my 3 little gem birds!!

For now....I read this quote tagged on someone email signature. I have no idea what the book is about or who the author is...I guess I should research that. But the quote really spoke to me...so I wanted to share it....

"It is the job of mothers to never give up, to leave no stone unturned. Mothers must believe well beyond all else, must hope all things and endure all things. Must show the kind of faith that moves mountains." -- Dr. Lewis Mehl-Madrona, author Coyote Medicine.

Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk

Please Help Me....In Finding A Cure

I have decided to take on an incredible challenge and to fight cancer on my terms and in a small way help contribute to finding a cure. On October 9, 2009, I'll be walking 60 miles over the course of three days, camping out at night with thousands of other women and men taking this journey with me. I’m doing this because I am strong enough and healthy enough that I can walk. I will walk for everyone who can’t walk. I’ve always wanted to be athletic in some way, and it’s never too late. This is my chance!

The Breast Cancer 3-Day is a 60-mile walk over the course of three days. Net proceeds benefit Susan G. Komen for the Cure and National Philanthropic Trust, funding important breast cancer research, education, screening, and treatment.

Please help me in my goal of raising $2300. Go to this link to find out how you can donate.

Thank you,
Jual

http://www.the3day.org/site/TR/Walk/WashingtonDCEvent?px=3304713&pg=personal&fr_id=1303&et=HiieW-Wl89rHAkm3skqm8Q..&s_tafId=85068

Two years...today!

April 17, 2007 was a horrible day but April 17, 2009 is a celebration!

Two years ago today, I was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer. Life as I knew it was shattered into a million pieces and thrown into a million different directions. I had to go through 9 months of chemotherapy in which I lost my hair, had to undergo a disfiguring surgery, and had 7 weeks of radiation that literally fried my skin. Not only did I have to go through cancer treatment but I also had a precious newborn and 2 other small children to take care of. According to the statistics; the odds were not in my favor. But by the grace of God, I’m here today…2 years later. I’m putting the pieces back together. My hair has grown back, that tiny premature baby is now a cute toddler, and life seems to be back to normal. It has become a new normal. I still deal with the challenges of a cancer survivor. I see the scars every day. I feel the pain. I get a monthly treatment. I live with tremendous fear of what the future holds for me and my family! But despite all of that, I appreciate life and all that it entails, so much more than I ever did 2 years ago. I love my life; it truly is a wonderful life.

I’m not only a breast cancer survivor. I am a breast cancer warrior. I have been fighting breast cancer now for 2 years and now with a stage IV diagnosis, I will be fighting breast cancer for the long haul. I will be in some kind of treatment for the rest of my life. Right now, it’s non-invasive and a very low key treatment. But one day, the cancer will become immune to this treatment and I will have to go through chemo and/or radiation again. I need a cure. But for now, the cancer is stable. I am strong and otherwise healthy. I feel great, alive and blessed!

Hugs and Smiles!

Spring is Here!!!

Well, spring is trying! I have written so many blogs in my head, but too busy to actually sit down and type them! Which is a good thing, I guess!

My treatment is going and as far as we know, every thing is stable. I will have a follow up PET scan in June. Please pray that it will be good news!!

My 3 little birds are cute as can be and growing up so fast! We are preparing for a 3rd, 5th, and 2nd birthday over the next 4 months! We are very excited! WOW! I'm so happy that I'm going to be here for these milestones!!

Alex is awesome as usual! He's really enjoying his hockey team these days!

I will make a date to sit down and right a longer blog this week. I can write about are many adventures we've had over the past few months! It's spring break for the kids so life things will slow down a little this week!

Hugs!!

Winter Blues....

I'm dreaming of some warm weather, just like the ones we use to have!! I miss my walks outside, the children playing outside, the beach, fresh air!! I love the changes of the season but I'm so ready for a new season! Even though I'm not a fan of the winter, we did have some fun! Here are the pics to prove it....

Eating and Making A Mess!

Hockey Games.....
Pierce thinks that he is Alex Ovechkin, so funny!!

Let's GO CAPS!!!

Snow Fun....

Alex showing the kids how it's done...

The boys all bundled up...so cute!!!

Ella and her best friend, Kiley!

My sweet Riley chasing a snow ball, she LOVES the snow!!!

Hugs,

Jual

Quote Day

Whether You Think You Can or Can't, You're Right"--Henry Ford

It's all about attitude, right? I love this quote and think about it all the time! I think I can!!! And when doctors tell me I can't, it just fuels the fire more...I think I can!!!!

Field Trip

Last weekend we took the kids downtown to the Museum of Natural History. I think after watching the Inauguration the week before, we were itching to be in DC. Grandma and Granddad Woodstock came with us on our adventure, but I'm sad to say we didn't even get a picture of them. We didn't really take that many pictures which is odd, I'm usually always snapping away. We didn't even get a picture of Ryder, I promise he was there too.

I guess we were just having too much fun! Here are a few pictures we did take....

The US Capital

Ella and Mommy after seeing the butterfly exhibit.

Ella said it was her favorite thing at that day...

A forgot the camera when we went into the butterfly exhibit...so I took one of the wall.



Daddy and Pierce playing with the Rain Stick....

Ella looking at something interesting...

Pierce, our little monkey sitting with Mr. Monkey....

We really had a great day!!