It is very important to continue with the awareness so that women, young and old can be educated and aware of breast cancer. I don't want women to be blind sided by this disease any longer. Know your risk factors, talk to your doctor if you have a family history, and PLEASE do your self breast exams and mammograms!!!!
But for me and every women living with advanced breast cancer...we NEED to find a cure!!! With out a cure, we will eventually lose the battle. I'm going to fight and stay in treatment for the rest of my life but without that cure, I'm going to die. Now, please don't worry, I'm not going to die tomorrow or next year or not even a few years from now. The goal of my treatment is to keep the cancer under control and "stupid" for a long, long time. Enough time to hold out for a cure!!
Breast Cancer gets a lot of attention and funding, but we need more! I pray for a cure of breast cancer and all cancers. Did you watch the special on TV back in the beginning of September, STAND UP TO CANCER? They said it's not if we find a cure, it's when we find a cure. Oh that sounds so good and promising! I hope it really does become a reality!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
More drama....
Please say a little prayer for my baby! On Monday night, he fell down one step as he was trying to climb up them and hurt himself. He was crying and crying and we could not get him to calm down, so I took him to the ER. I knew something was seriously wrong b/c he would not stop crying. Sure enough, he fractured his left leg. It was just the way he twisted it, the doctor said that if he was an adult it would have been a ligament injury but baby's ligaments are soft so the bone broke instead. He's in a splint until Friday and then a cast for 4-6weeks. Poor baby! He has been a good sport, just frustrated b/c he can't crawl around.
As for me...I'm okay.
I just want to thank you for all the comments, cards, and prayers! It means more to me than I can ever express!
Surprising, I'm doing very well. I've had a few good cries but all and all I'm okay. I have all the confidence that we will keep this under control for a long time. I might not ever get to be a grandmother but who knows maybe!
I go tomorrow for my first shot...it's actually a drug called Zoladex. Don't know too much about it really, all I know is that the goal will be to stop the production of estrogen. I'll find out more tomorrow!
I've just been trying to continue as normal. I had the most wonderful summer, enjoying life. As we go into fall and winter, I'll do the same! For every season! I'm keeping busy, still working, still cleaning (like crazy, it's a nice way to keep my distracted), still having the great privilege of being a mom.
Alex and I are having the "what if" conversations. It's not easy but if something happens, we want to be prepared and on the same page as far as the children. We are a team and we work very well together and together is how we want to make the decisions for our children's future! That's the biggest fear/worry that I have, how is he going to be a single parent. 3 children is a lot of work and to have to do it alone, I can't even imagine. Well, let's not worry about that now, only if we need to, right!?!?
With Love,
As for me...I'm okay.
I just want to thank you for all the comments, cards, and prayers! It means more to me than I can ever express!
Surprising, I'm doing very well. I've had a few good cries but all and all I'm okay. I have all the confidence that we will keep this under control for a long time. I might not ever get to be a grandmother but who knows maybe!
I go tomorrow for my first shot...it's actually a drug called Zoladex. Don't know too much about it really, all I know is that the goal will be to stop the production of estrogen. I'll find out more tomorrow!
I've just been trying to continue as normal. I had the most wonderful summer, enjoying life. As we go into fall and winter, I'll do the same! For every season! I'm keeping busy, still working, still cleaning (like crazy, it's a nice way to keep my distracted), still having the great privilege of being a mom.
Alex and I are having the "what if" conversations. It's not easy but if something happens, we want to be prepared and on the same page as far as the children. We are a team and we work very well together and together is how we want to make the decisions for our children's future! That's the biggest fear/worry that I have, how is he going to be a single parent. 3 children is a lot of work and to have to do it alone, I can't even imagine. Well, let's not worry about that now, only if we need to, right!?!?
With Love,
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Stage IV
I have stage 4 breast cancer. The goal of treatment will be to get my disease to become NED (no evidence of disease), which is the best case scenario or to at least stay stable. But Stage IV breast cancer is still considered to be terminal and incurable. How do I live my life under this dark cloud and continue to raise my 3 beautiful children and still laugh and plan and be a wife and work, and be a useful member of society? I don't know, but this is my goal.
My doctor seems very optimistic that we can get "years" out of a long list of treatments. We will try one until it doesn't work anymore (since at some point your body builds up a resistance to it) and then we will try another and another and another. She says she is in it for the long haul with me. She even got teary eyed when she said this to me. I truly believe she is doing all that she can and if she can't help me, I know she will lead me in the right direction of someone who can. She is very good oncologist that came to me highly recommended and almost everyone that I have come into contact with through cancer, goes to her as well. So at this point, I'm not seeking a second opinion.
I'm very fortunate in the fact that right now, I have "small volume" disease. It's in a very tiny spot on my sternum and that's it. It hasn't progressed in several months and there's no evidence of it any where else in my body. My tumor markers are very low, even lower then they were when we checked them in November. If everything stays like this, we should be able to manage the disease very well and for a long time.
Yes, I'm in shock and I'm scared. I'm angry! I'm numb! I have so many emotions to sort through right now. I need to learn how to move past this death sentence and try to live. That doesn't even make sense to me but somehow I have to do it. I want to live the best life I can. I want to be the best mom, wife, daughter, sister, niece, aunt, and friend. I don't want to be treated any different, I'm still me! You don't have to say your sorry or try to make me feel better. I'm sorry that my family and friends have to deal with this as well. It's hard for all of us but together we can manage.
I need to keep my faith. My faith that every thing happens for a reason and that God is here with me. It's really hard for me right now not to give up on this concept. At the same time I want to cling to it more. I need a miracle!
The plan now is that I continue with the zometa to help protect the bones. I'll have a infusion every month. Also every month I will be getting a shot of lupron with the goal of shutting down my ovaries. This will stop the production of estrogen and cut off the "food" supply to the cancer. Without the estrogen, we hope that the cancer cells become dormant. I will also be taking another hormone therapy drug orally everyday. Cross your fingers, pray, do a little dance....whatever it is that you do, please do it at least once for me!! I would so deeply appreciate it and I thank you with all my heart!
My doctor seems very optimistic that we can get "years" out of a long list of treatments. We will try one until it doesn't work anymore (since at some point your body builds up a resistance to it) and then we will try another and another and another. She says she is in it for the long haul with me. She even got teary eyed when she said this to me. I truly believe she is doing all that she can and if she can't help me, I know she will lead me in the right direction of someone who can. She is very good oncologist that came to me highly recommended and almost everyone that I have come into contact with through cancer, goes to her as well. So at this point, I'm not seeking a second opinion.
I'm very fortunate in the fact that right now, I have "small volume" disease. It's in a very tiny spot on my sternum and that's it. It hasn't progressed in several months and there's no evidence of it any where else in my body. My tumor markers are very low, even lower then they were when we checked them in November. If everything stays like this, we should be able to manage the disease very well and for a long time.
Yes, I'm in shock and I'm scared. I'm angry! I'm numb! I have so many emotions to sort through right now. I need to learn how to move past this death sentence and try to live. That doesn't even make sense to me but somehow I have to do it. I want to live the best life I can. I want to be the best mom, wife, daughter, sister, niece, aunt, and friend. I don't want to be treated any different, I'm still me! You don't have to say your sorry or try to make me feel better. I'm sorry that my family and friends have to deal with this as well. It's hard for all of us but together we can manage.
I need to keep my faith. My faith that every thing happens for a reason and that God is here with me. It's really hard for me right now not to give up on this concept. At the same time I want to cling to it more. I need a miracle!
The plan now is that I continue with the zometa to help protect the bones. I'll have a infusion every month. Also every month I will be getting a shot of lupron with the goal of shutting down my ovaries. This will stop the production of estrogen and cut off the "food" supply to the cancer. Without the estrogen, we hope that the cancer cells become dormant. I will also be taking another hormone therapy drug orally everyday. Cross your fingers, pray, do a little dance....whatever it is that you do, please do it at least once for me!! I would so deeply appreciate it and I thank you with all my heart!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Here we go again....maybe
Well, friends it looks like I might be facing cancer once again. The radiologist that looked at my PET scan believes that the spot on my sternum is indeed cancer. My oncologist though , is still hopeful that it's not. We are scheduling a needle biopsy of the bone ASAP to determine once and for all what in fact this spot really is. CANCER SUCKS!!!
To look on the brighter side, if it is cancer at least it's not in my organs. The course of treatment will not change, I still will take the zometa to help protect the bones and maybe up my hormone therapy. We move forward!
Still don't know the results of the MRI but will keep you posted!
Please pray that I win this battle. I have to beat this for my children!
To look on the brighter side, if it is cancer at least it's not in my organs. The course of treatment will not change, I still will take the zometa to help protect the bones and maybe up my hormone therapy. We move forward!
Still don't know the results of the MRI but will keep you posted!
Please pray that I win this battle. I have to beat this for my children!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
What does Jual's Gems mean?
My gems are you, my family and friends, especially Alex and my 3 little birds, Ella, Pierce, and Ryder! I love them so so much! The pictures above was taken on one of our many trips to the beach this summer. I love the beach and was so very happy to be there again alive and well! We had so much fun! I'm going to frame this picture for Alex!
To my prayer warriors...Thank you for the gift on prayer! It has been an amazing spiritual journey! I've been thinking about you a lot lately and feel so very blessed and just wanted to let you know that I'm so grateful for you and your prayers...it means so much to me!!!
I have two big test next week. I have a follow up PET scan on Monday and a breast MRI on Wednesday! I'm very nervous about them and of course having all sorts of symptoms to make me nervous. But I think it's just my mind playing tricks on me and in my heart I think (hope) I'll have good results. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and send good/happy thoughts my way!
I've been dealing with lymphedema on my left hand since early July. I have a new physical therapist and she is GREAT. We've been doing some different techniques and have gotten really good results. My measurements have gone down! And I can actually see my bones again on the back of my hand, well just a little bit. I still can't wear my wedding rings but I plan on going to get them re-sized to wear on my right hand. Lymphedema is a chronic condition and I will always have problems with the swelling but hopefully when it's under control, I can wear my rings on my left hand again and when I have a flare up..I can still wear them but on my right hand! My rings are too beautiful not to wear! And a symbol of my love and marriage. I know "things" shouldn't mean that much to you but if I'm being honest my wedding rings mean a lot to me! And I want to wear them....I miss that beautiful diamond on my hand!!!! :-)
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