Thursday, August 16, 2007
Please keep us in your prayers! It was not a good day and I really don't know how much more I can take! Ryder did not come home today which was a real let down. Then I got what I think is the worst news I could have gotten from my pathology report! I went in there hoping to have clear margins and no lymph node involvement. My "hope" is almost gone! There were clear margins except for in the upper right corner. 14 lymph nodes taken and 10 tested positive with cancer. That was really hard to hear! I have to go a get an opinion of a radiation oncologist to see if she thinks we need to go back in a take some more tissue or just do radiation! I'm losing hope! I usually try to find something good in any situation but right now I can't find the good!
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Do not worry about what might happen tomorrow; the same loving Father who takes care of you today, will take care of you tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace, then, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations. (Serenity Prayer, St. Francis de Sales)
Jual, you and Alex and all of your children will continue to be in our prayers. We love all of you so much. Aunt Jenny and Uncle Ray
Jual, you and the whole family is on my mind and in my prayers literally everyday. There is not a day that passes that I do not think of you and your sweet kids and husband and lift you all up in prayer. I have friends who do not know you personally, but know of your fight, and they ask about you constantly. You have touched so many who don't even know you. However, I do not blame you for feeling the way you do. Tears are in my eyes as I type this, as I know as a mother, you must be fearing for your children! Remember them as you continue your fight!! You are their rock as much as they are yours and you are an inspiration to me, as well as those who don't even know you! So many are praying for you...
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, for Christ's power rests on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For, when I am weak, then I am strong."
Fight the good fight...keep your head up...love to you all...Amber, Jeff and Kenden Turner
WHAT CANCER CAN NOT DO!
Cancer is so Limited...
It cannot cripple LOVE
It cannot shatter HOPE
It cannot corrode FAITH
It cannot destroy PEACE
It cannot kill FRIENDSHIP
It cannot suppress MEMORIES
It cannot silence COURAGE
It cannot invade the SOUL
It cannot steal ETERNAL LIFE
It cannot conquer the SPIRIT
Jual, I hope you will feel the loving arms of your family & friends prayers wrapping around you & your beautiful family -- please HOLD FIRMLY to your HOPE as we all are!
Much Love,
Shelly, Tim & Kyle
Jual,
I love what your Aunt Jenny said...I'm praying for you my dear friend and it's ok if you feel your hope fading today, you are allowed to have a bad day with this journey. My whole family is praying for you and asking me about you every time I call. You are loved my sweet friend and I am looking forward to seeing you next week....I also agree that cancer cannot invade your soul, that belongs to you and God and you and God alone....
Love you darling.....
Kristy
I'm a friend of Amber's and am praying for you and your family. In these difficult moments know that you can find stength and peace through prayer. Rely on God to give you the grace to deal with the situation at hand and don't ever forget that beautiful rainbow God showed you just a few weeks ago. Don't ever give up!
Jual,
Your spirit and courage are an inspiration to me. Your strength is amazing and will continue to guide you through this. Please know that i am thinking about you all day, and that I love you all! I will see you this weekend and I can't wait to see Ryder!
Ryder will be home soon and you will fight this,Jual. Go ahead and get mad but don' t lose hope. I love you as does so many. Though we are not going through this phyiscally with you we are all there with you in spirit. I hope you know that. I hope that you can take one day at a time and keep the faith that soon this will all be behind you. U are in always in my prayers. Love, Cecelia.
Jual-
You and your family are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Being afraid or mad doesn't make you weak- it makes you human! You are such a beautiful and strong person. I can imagine that you have days where you aren't feeling emotionally strong, but that doesn't mean that you are giving up. Give all of those cuties a big hug and kiss for me!
All my love,
Aimee
Jual~
As I'm sitting here far away from you right now, I feel like I'm with you. I want you to know that WE are going to fight this battle and I know YOU will win it. Please, stay positive! I know that God has his plan and you are going to exceed his highest expectations. Please fall back on me whenever you have any doubts. It is very important, no matter what the news may be, that you trust and belive in God! I love you!
Michelle
Jual,
I am a friend of Havalynn's and know that I am thinking and praying for you and your family. Your strength and motivation through all of this is amazing and a lesson for us all. We all believe in you!
I'm a friend of Hav's and want to let you know that I am thinking of you and your family and keeping you all in my prayers. You are so strong and such an amazing woman. Keep the faith and strength...you can do it!!! Take care!
-Trace-Ann
Don't loose hope Jual. My Dad spoke to your parents last night and told them to tell you to not worry. After his surgery 60% of his lymph nodes were positive. After chemo he was and still is cancer free for 5 years. The Dr told my Dad that he is more cancer free than himself or other people because of the chemo. Your margins can possibly be removed topically in your dr's office as was my Grandfathers skin cancer. PS from Paul: Your Dr was looking for swollen lymph nodes and of course the percentage is going to be high. The ones they removed from me were random and they found 60% positive. Your cells were selected. Love you little girl, Paul.
Jual, keep going strong, your strength is so admirable. We are thinking of you and praying for you. Love you tons.
Jual, there is always hope. You have so many people who love you and are praying for you so that must count for something. You are an inspiration to so many. You will come through this. We are all looking forward so much to meeting Ryder soon. Hang in there and don't lose hope. Love you, Claire George Leslie and Mason
Jual,
Look at it this way - 14 nodes, 10 positive, 4 negative. They are all gone now anyway! Dr. Wiley removed them! The cancer in the breast is gone except for that one spot, which we will have Dr. Wiley remove next week. At that point, you are cancer free and the tests you are having will show that because the pet scan and bone scan will come back negative! This is a setback only in the respect that we didn't get clear margins! Keep the fight going because it is important that you stay strong! You are halfway there now, the chemo and radiation will make sure nothing is left and it never comes back. I want you to get back on track and get that spunky spirit back as that is the true cure! I refuse to let you get down. This battle is just getting started and we are halfway to winning! Believe me, it will be over and you will win! Now, go to the hospital and get some food into Ryder so he can come home! I love you! Mom
Jual,
Look at it this way - 14 nodes, 10 positive, 4 negative. They are all gone now anyway! Dr. Wiley removed them! The cancer in the breast is gone except for that one spot, which we will have Dr. Wiley remove next week. At that point, you are cancer free and the tests you are having will show that because the pet scan and bone scan will come back negative! This is a setback only in the respect that we didn't get clear margins! Keep the fight going because it is important that you stay strong! You are halfway there now, the chemo and radiation will make sure nothing is left and it never comes back. I want you to get back on track and get that spunky spirit back as that is the true cure! I refuse to let you get down. This battle is just getting started and we are halfway to winning! Believe me, it will be over and you will win! Now, go to the hospital and get some food into Ryder so he can come home! I love you! Mom
"One thing Jesus asks of me: that I lean on Him; that in Him and only in Him I put complete trust; that I surrender myself to Him unreservedly. Even when all goes wrong and I feel as if I am a ship without a compass, I must give myself completely to Him. " - Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Jual, I read this prayer this morning and recalled what Fr. Job said to Kathi last night. He journeyed far to meet Mother Teresa before her death and he asked her to pray for him in his priesthood.
He then promised Kathi a miracle for the mother of those 3 precious children. He cried with me at the news, but he has also strengthened our hope and faith in God's protection. He has taken you to his heart and is praying for you, Alex and the babies, as we all are.
With great love,
Aunt Patti
Jual,
I just talked to Michelle and she filled me in then I came to read up on your blog. You and your family are truly and inspiration to all of us for the strength and grace you have through these difficult times. Just continue to remember on days like yesterday when "hope" seems so hard and this journey seems impossible, the new day approaches and we are all here to help you through as best we can. I think of you all everyday and continue to pray for you!!
On another note, I can’t wait to start playing Bunco with you again
Love,
Laura
Dear Jual, I am a friend of your uncle ray and today I sent a prayer request acros the country asking for a healing for you. The grapes need to be CRUSHED before they can become the BLOOD of CHRIST.....
JESUS said, "I AM"....
"HE IS WITH YOU ALL DAY... EVERY DAY"....HE is not in yesterday or tomorrow. When you are weakest HE is strong! Lean on HIM and all the love and prayers coming your way, as we carry on in faith and trust for you.... Blessings, CaroLee Johnston
Jual,
You and your beautiful family are in my prayers. You are so strong and an inspiration to all! Relay on God, your friends and family to give you the strength and hope you need! Again you're in prayers.
Love,
Sara
Jual,
Thank you so much for sharing this journey with us! I know updating your blog is probably not what you want to be doing now, but you selflessly do it so that all of your friends and family can be updated of any new news-just one more thing that shows what an amazing person you are!! I know this was not the news you were hoping for, but you can overcome this, too! Your strength is amazing!! Although you've had a hard fight, God has blessed you with the amazing strength to be able to do it! Just keep your mind on the end goal and enjoy those little babies of yours! Ryder will be home in no time, and before you know it he'll be running and laughing with his brother and sister, and this whole journey will be behind you!!
Thank you for being an inspiration to all who know you!!
Love,
Nicole
Jual - Your blog today reminded me of an article I had once read.
You can read it here:
http://www.wingsfortheheart.com/finding-the-gift-in-every-situation.htm
Drew and i are big believers in energy. (Give him a couple beers and you'll think you're in science class). But a lot of it really does make sense. Our bodies work b/c of energy... and positive energy can make all the difference. Stay positive! You are an incredible human being and so much more than this horrible disease. Look beyond today, b/c you have some pretty exciting times coming with those three little munchkins. :)
Hugs,
Gina
Jual,
You and your family are in our prayers. I hope that you get to take Ryder home soon. I know what it feels like to have to leave your child at the hospital again and again. Please know that your family will be together soon. I've always admired you Jual, but not nearly as much as I have since you were diaganosed. You are an inspiration to everyone around you. We are all the better for having you in our lives and your children are so lucky to have someone care about them so much. We love you!
Love,
Abbey, Phil, Ashley and Kaitlyn
Dear Jual, You do not know me but I am a friend of Hilary Wartham who shared your blog site with me. I live in Richmond, Virginia, and am a wife, and also a mother of four young girls ages 9, 7, 4, 4. I want you to know that you are not alone!!
I was diagnosed with Stage 4, advanced breast cancer--invasive ductal carcinoma--last October of 2006. This past year was a roller coaster ride but today I AM CANCER FREE!!
It will not be an easy journey. It certainly was not for me. But God is more powerful than this disease and you can have HOPE...please do not let go of that!
Here are a few scripture verses that helped me very much, especially in the beginning when I was first faced with the diagnosis.
"I have plans for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and meditation, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4: 6,7
If you want, please visit my website at www.tara.3d-llc.com or email me at paulitz@comcast.net.
I will pray for you. God bless! Tara Paulitz
Jual,
Now is the time for you to get all of those really strong drugs that you couldn't get before. Now you will be able to get this cancer out of your body!!!! Be strong, I will be praying every day for you.
Angie
My sweet friend Jual,
You have been through more in these past weeks than most people have or will have to endure in a lifetime. You have been strong, courageous, brave, and have done it with such grace. We are all so proud of you! You have an army of friends and family and we will hold onto that hope that right now feels lost to you. I don't believe for a moment that you will not have it again...tomorrow is a new day and soon you will have your "3 little birds" all under one roof with you and Alex; and they will give you the strength you need to continue this journey. I admire you and my hope for you is that you find your smile again and know how many people are praying for you and with you and how much we love you.
Jual,
Please don't lose hope!!! We are all praying for you and know you will pull through... keep a positive attitude and focus on getting well. It will all workout, I just know it!!
Love,
Kara
Dear Jual and Alex,
Do not lose hope. Stay strong. You can do it. You will prevail.
My prayers are with you. May God watch over you and protect you. May He give you strength and comfort. May God hold you in His arms and give you peace.
God bless you,
Matt
Jual-
Havalynn and I are at the beach enjoying our families. She has told me your story and my heart is breaking for you and your family. I know in my heart that you will also one day soon be enjoying your three beautiful children on the beach as we are now. Please do not give up hope. you are stonger then you think although at times you may seriously question how much more you can take. Stay strong and when you feel like you can't take another round of bad news lean on your family and friends until you are strong enough to fight again. We are all here fighting for and with you. You are in my thoughts.
Ginny
Jual,even though this is the most difficult time you've ever been through, please hold on to your strong spirit. "WITH GOD, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE." When I was freaking out about my surgery and the possible outcomes and what ifs, what brought me back to peace was "Jesus, I trust in You." Find the words that bring peace into your soul and know that God is holding you in His care because you, Alex, Ella, Pierce and Ryder are so precious to Him. "Be still and know that I am God." With love and prayers from Aunt Judy
Hi Jual your family is just beatiful Congradualations on your baby. Our love and prayers are with you. Katie matt and keith
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