Merry Belated Christmas!!!

We had the most magical Christmas!!! We hope you did too! Just remember, IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE!

"Remeber no man is a failure who has friends (and family). Thanks for the wings!"

Love,
Jual

Is Daddy Home Yet?

Happy Birthday, My dear sweet husband! We love you so so much but not so so!

Dear Alex,

I just wanted to let you know how much we love you! Every afternoon around 5pm...we get so excited to see you!! It's truly one of the highlights of our day!! Above is a picture of our 3 little birds waiting at the front door for DADDY to pull in the driveway! They were yelling your name and banging on the door. It was very cute! I just had to take a picture!

Your children adore you! They love playing with you and you guys always have so much fun together. You are a great father!

I adore you too. I'm so happy to be your wife, I love you with all my heart! You are my best friend.

Love,

Jual

Ella wants to say, she did this message for you too!

Here is our annual picture of the kids in front of the Christmas tree!! As you can tell, Riley (the dog) loves this!!!

Alex P. Keaton

I always loved the show Family Ties..I would look forward to watching it and dance around the living room to the song at the beginning! I especially loved Alex P. Keaton...funny I grew up to marry an Alex!! :-) And I grew up to love my own family ties!!

I just read an article in People magazine about Michael J. Fox. This was such inspiration to me and I wanted to share this...He makes a choice to be happy despite his condition and that's what I do! I choose to be happy!! Cancer is not my choice but I do have the choice to enjoy my life!

People Magazine-Dec. 8, 2008

"On Parkinson's Effects: "I refuse to define it in terms of a hardship or a difficulty ... It is what it is. You either get Zen with this [stuff] or you lose your mind." Having the disease "is part of an amazing life. And not an 'otherwise' amazing life," he clarifies. "It's part of what makes my life amazing."

"The Fox Family: "Our family life is so normal. [His kids] don't see me as suffering from anything. The joke is, we'll be going to school and I'll say, 'Choose to have a great day!' and they'll roll their eyes at me. They see me as positive, upbeat ... Parkinson's doesn't even come up."

"Coping and Looking Forward: He and Pollan "haven't looked back. For everything that's worse, there's something that's better ... I really love my life. That's just me. I understand Parkinson's is a real hardship for [some] people, and I'm not trying to be insensitive to them. But I have to be realistic about my situation. Yes, it's a horrible condition. Would I choose not to have it? Yeah, I think so. But it's not my choice."

"The Next Decade: "I'm almost sure that in 10 or 12 years we'll have much better medication for it. Based on how I feel now, I'll be okay for at least 10 more years." So what does "okay" mean to Fox? "Living a life, that's not much different than what I live now."

Thanksgiving 2008

The past year and half has been the most challenging time in my life. I found out I had cancer, went through chemotherapy, had a baby, had major surgery that changed my body, more chemotherapy, radiation that severely burned my skin, then finished treatment and felt lost and terrified. I did all of this while being a mom of 3 children under the age of 4. I had a few months where things seem to get back to normal and celebrated being cancer free, only to discover that the cancer was back. I now have to face treatment the rest of my life. My future is uncertain but I have today and I’m thankful for the past, present, and future. I intend to be here and to have an incredible future. Here are some other things that I’m thankful for. They are in no particular order, just a list of the wonderful things in my life, things that I am thankful for and enjoy!

My 3 Little Birds My Husband
My Home My Hair Riley Dog

My Family-Mom and Dad, Sisters(even CA chick), Brothers, Nieces,

Aunts, Uncles, Cousins(you esp-My KC), Mother and Father-In-Law

All of my Friends- especially Michelle and Jen-who listen to me cry and whine the most!
My bible study girls, My book club girls, My bunco girls

The beach, the sun, scrapbooking, gerber dasies, christmas trees, coffee & tea walks

lia sophia & My awesome team

Faith
Love, Laughs, and Hope

There is a ton more and more people who deserve shout outs but I will do that another day! I have to remove myself from the computer and take care of my precious babies!!!

I just want to share with everyone....

I can officially pull my hair back in a pony-tail again!!!

WOO-HOO!!!

Lunch-Hollywood Style!

I had the most wonderful lunch date today!

Here are some pictures!

It was so much fun!

Everyday, I thank God for the fact that I get to be a stay at home mom. I love being here with my children! I love our routine, playing and having fun! Even though sometimes, they drive my crazy, I still LOVE being a mom and I LOVE being home with them! I'm very fortunate that Alex and I agree that me being home with the children is the right thing to do! My husband is also the best dad in the world and helps me out so much! I'm also very fortunate to have found the perfect job for me that helps me to continue to be a stay at home mom. I have my own successful business with lia sophia jewelry. It gives me exactly what I need and want out of a job. I have full-time income while working part time. I get out of the house on occasion and get to dress up and hang out with other women but I'm not gone too long and when I come back, I'm always refreshed and can't wait to be with my babies again!!!

So, if you are like me and get to have lunch with your most favorite people in the world everyday! Consider yourself lucky!! I do!!!

HUGS!

Fall is Here!

On Tuesday, we went to visit Grandma and Granddad "Woodstock" as they are called! Ella and Pierce had a blast playing in leaves, Ryder didn't really care for it. He liked sitting in the wagon much better! We really had a great time. I love days like this just being with family, enjoying each other's company and the weather.


I've decided that my blog is much too depressing. So I'm going to change the focus a little. I'm going to share more with you some other aspects of my life, not just the cancer. I have a wonderful life and I'm so much more than the girl with cancer. I want everyone to see that! So, I will still keep you informed on my health but now I want to share with you more of the good stuff in my life!!

Hugs!

The Land of Oz!

Having Fun!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

It is very important to continue with the awareness so that women, young and old can be educated and aware of breast cancer. I don't want women to be blind sided by this disease any longer. Know your risk factors, talk to your doctor if you have a family history, and PLEASE do your self breast exams and mammograms!!!!

But for me and every women living with advanced breast cancer...we NEED to find a cure!!! With out a cure, we will eventually lose the battle. I'm going to fight and stay in treatment for the rest of my life but without that cure, I'm going to die. Now, please don't worry, I'm not going to die tomorrow or next year or not even a few years from now. The goal of my treatment is to keep the cancer under control and "stupid" for a long, long time. Enough time to hold out for a cure!!

Breast Cancer gets a lot of attention and funding, but we need more! I pray for a cure of breast cancer and all cancers. Did you watch the special on TV back in the beginning of September, STAND UP TO CANCER? They said it's not if we find a cure, it's when we find a cure. Oh that sounds so good and promising! I hope it really does become a reality!!

More drama....

Please say a little prayer for my baby! On Monday night, he fell down one step as he was trying to climb up them and hurt himself. He was crying and crying and we could not get him to calm down, so I took him to the ER. I knew something was seriously wrong b/c he would not stop crying. Sure enough, he fractured his left leg. It was just the way he twisted it, the doctor said that if he was an adult it would have been a ligament injury but baby's ligaments are soft so the bone broke instead. He's in a splint until Friday and then a cast for 4-6weeks. Poor baby! He has been a good sport, just frustrated b/c he can't crawl around.

As for me...I'm okay.

I just want to thank you for all the comments, cards, and prayers! It means more to me than I can ever express!

Surprising, I'm doing very well. I've had a few good cries but all and all I'm okay. I have all the confidence that we will keep this under control for a long time. I might not ever get to be a grandmother but who knows maybe!

I go tomorrow for my first shot...it's actually a drug called Zoladex. Don't know too much about it really, all I know is that the goal will be to stop the production of estrogen. I'll find out more tomorrow!

I've just been trying to continue as normal. I had the most wonderful summer, enjoying life. As we go into fall and winter, I'll do the same! For every season! I'm keeping busy, still working, still cleaning (like crazy, it's a nice way to keep my distracted), still having the great privilege of being a mom.

Alex and I are having the "what if" conversations. It's not easy but if something happens, we want to be prepared and on the same page as far as the children. We are a team and we work very well together and together is how we want to make the decisions for our children's future! That's the biggest fear/worry that I have, how is he going to be a single parent. 3 children is a lot of work and to have to do it alone, I can't even imagine. Well, let's not worry about that now, only if we need to, right!?!?

With Love,

Stage IV

I have stage 4 breast cancer. The goal of treatment will be to get my disease to become NED (no evidence of disease), which is the best case scenario or to at least stay stable. But Stage IV breast cancer is still considered to be terminal and incurable. How do I live my life under this dark cloud and continue to raise my 3 beautiful children and still laugh and plan and be a wife and work, and be a useful member of society? I don't know, but this is my goal.


My doctor seems very optimistic that we can get "years" out of a long list of treatments. We will try one until it doesn't work anymore (since at some point your body builds up a resistance to it) and then we will try another and another and another. She says she is in it for the long haul with me. She even got teary eyed when she said this to me. I truly believe she is doing all that she can and if she can't help me, I know she will lead me in the right direction of someone who can. She is very good oncologist that came to me highly recommended and almost everyone that I have come into contact with through cancer, goes to her as well. So at this point, I'm not seeking a second opinion.


I'm very fortunate in the fact that right now, I have "small volume" disease. It's in a very tiny spot on my sternum and that's it. It hasn't progressed in several months and there's no evidence of it any where else in my body. My tumor markers are very low, even lower then they were when we checked them in November. If everything stays like this, we should be able to manage the disease very well and for a long time.


Yes, I'm in shock and I'm scared. I'm angry! I'm numb! I have so many emotions to sort through right now. I need to learn how to move past this death sentence and try to live. That doesn't even make sense to me but somehow I have to do it. I want to live the best life I can. I want to be the best mom, wife, daughter, sister, niece, aunt, and friend. I don't want to be treated any different, I'm still me! You don't have to say your sorry or try to make me feel better. I'm sorry that my family and friends have to deal with this as well. It's hard for all of us but together we can manage.


I need to keep my faith. My faith that every thing happens for a reason and that God is here with me. It's really hard for me right now not to give up on this concept. At the same time I want to cling to it more. I need a miracle!

The plan now is that I continue with the zometa to help protect the bones. I'll have a infusion every month. Also every month I will be getting a shot of lupron with the goal of shutting down my ovaries. This will stop the production of estrogen and cut off the "food" supply to the cancer. Without the estrogen, we hope that the cancer cells become dormant. I will also be taking another hormone therapy drug orally everyday. Cross your fingers, pray, do a little dance....whatever it is that you do, please do it at least once for me!! I would so deeply appreciate it and I thank you with all my heart!

It's Cancer!

Biopsy scheduled for Friday, Sept. 26 at Fairfax Hospital, 10:30am

Here we go again....maybe

Well, friends it looks like I might be facing cancer once again. The radiologist that looked at my PET scan believes that the spot on my sternum is indeed cancer. My oncologist though , is still hopeful that it's not. We are scheduling a needle biopsy of the bone ASAP to determine once and for all what in fact this spot really is. CANCER SUCKS!!!

To look on the brighter side, if it is cancer at least it's not in my organs. The course of treatment will not change, I still will take the zometa to help protect the bones and maybe up my hormone therapy. We move forward!

Still don't know the results of the MRI but will keep you posted!

Please pray that I win this battle. I have to beat this for my children!

What does Jual's Gems mean?

My gems are you, my family and friends, especially Alex and my 3 little birds, Ella, Pierce, and Ryder! I love them so so much! The pictures above was taken on one of our many trips to the beach this summer. I love the beach and was so very happy to be there again alive and well! We had so much fun! I'm going to frame this picture for Alex!

To my prayer warriors...Thank you for the gift on prayer! It has been an amazing spiritual journey! I've been thinking about you a lot lately and feel so very blessed and just wanted to let you know that I'm so grateful for you and your prayers...it means so much to me!!!

I have two big test next week. I have a follow up PET scan on Monday and a breast MRI on Wednesday! I'm very nervous about them and of course having all sorts of symptoms to make me nervous. But I think it's just my mind playing tricks on me and in my heart I think (hope) I'll have good results. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and send good/happy thoughts my way!

I've been dealing with lymphedema on my left hand since early July. I have a new physical therapist and she is GREAT. We've been doing some different techniques and have gotten really good results. My measurements have gone down! And I can actually see my bones again on the back of my hand, well just a little bit. I still can't wear my wedding rings but I plan on going to get them re-sized to wear on my right hand. Lymphedema is a chronic condition and I will always have problems with the swelling but hopefully when it's under control, I can wear my rings on my left hand again and when I have a flare up..I can still wear them but on my right hand! My rings are too beautiful not to wear! And a symbol of my love and marriage. I know "things" shouldn't mean that much to you but if I'm being honest my wedding rings mean a lot to me! And I want to wear them....I miss that beautiful diamond on my hand!!!! :-)

Celebrating 1 Year!

I just celebrated my 1 year anniversary of being cancer free! I'm so happy and blessed and love life!! I pray for many more cancer free years!

Happy Birthday to my little bird, Ryder! He just turned 1 year old!

Cancer Scared!!

I had a little scare last week. I had a bone scan done on Monday, June 16 b/c I have been experiencing rib pain. We did the bone scan to be on the safe side. I was not worried at all about this scan. I just figured the rib pain was from the radiation and was just something that will be chronic and no big deal. So I went into the scan feeling very confident that everything would come back normal. WRONG! It just goes to show me, that I should never be over confident. I got a call Tuesday evening from the doctor's office. She told me that they see something on my sternum and they don't know if it's related to breast cancer or if it's arthritis. She proceeds to tell me they want a PET scan done to rule out breast cancer. We ended the conversation with the plan to have the PET scan the following Monday or Tuesday. The very next morning(Wed. morning), the phone rang at 8:15am, waking me up. I didn't answer b/c I was sleeping and figured whoever it was they could leave a message. Of course it was the doctor's office informing me that my doctor would like me to have the PET Scan prior to my visit with her on Friday at 3:15. What visit?, I thought. This didn't sound good! Fairfax Radiology called and set up my appt. for Thursday at 1:30. So hear we go!!! This was my first ever PET scan, so a little nerve racking. Was this cancer? And oh great what if they see it all over my body. All the negative thoughts raced in my head. I had to assume it was cancer. No one understood that but I had to prepare myself for the worse case scenario! Alex stayed home Friday with the kids and my mom went with me to the doctor's. I did not want to hear the dreaded news by myself.

So Dr. W walks in and I'm sitting on the table with my gown on...she says why don't you have a seat first and let's talk. My heart dropped to my stomach! She had just gotten off the phone with the radiologist. He pulled up every scan that I have ever had and looked at all of them again. In retrospect, this spot that showed up on my sternum has always been there but was never a spot to cause suspicion before. The doctors theory is that the drug that I'm taking in the clinical trial has "highlighted" this spot. Meaning that there is something there, whether it's cancer or it's a crack in the bone. The drug, zometa is making it more dense, meaning it's doing it's job. She said she would love to say it's not cancer but she can't. She said we could do a biopsy but she didn't think that was necessary at this point. She said even it was cancer in the bone, the course of treatment would be the same. I would just continue to take the zometa. So the plan of action as of now is to monitor the spot and see what happens. I will have another PET scan in August and probably again 3 months after that. This was a huge relief and I felt reassured when my doctor looked me in my eyes and said "We're okay!" So, I'm okay! She is not worried about this spot at this time! Thank God!!! More good news is that the PET scan shows your entire body and my body was perfectly clear of cancer anywhere else!!! Go Me!!!!

I continue to pray that my body stays cancer free! And for now, I will continue to enjoy the Harman Summer Camp that I have planned for the kids!!

Hello Again....

Thanks to my incredible Team Captains and awesome team...The Y-Me Walk was a huge success and a lot of fun!!! We have almost raised our goal of $9000 and by the time they cut off donations, I know we will surpass our goal! Thank you to all of you that help support Jual's Gems, it really means a lot and I'm so happy that we are helping local women get the support they need!

It's been awhile since I've updated my blog, I guess for a couple of reasons!! My life is getting back to normal, I'm so busy being a mom and I LOVE it! I love just being! I'm spending time with my children, having playdates, going to Little Gym, cleaning the house, blow drying my hair!!! :-) All the daily activities of a stay at home mom. It's great!!! And the other reason, is that I try to pretend that none of this ever happened...the denial state! It works sometimes...but the fear always creeps back in and the aches, pains and scars always reminds me. It's getting better with each day. I think a lot less about cancer now, I'm not letting it control my every thought anymore! Hopefully one day, there will be a time...when I don't think about it at all!

As far as my health, I keep getting A's on my report card! I had a check up last week and everything looks great!! I pray that I continue to have good health! My energy is back and I've started to exercise again and it feels great! I feel great!! We only have one concern right now, I have been having some rib pain, we think due to scar tissue from the radiation but we will be doing a bone scan soon to rule out the possibility of bone mets. I honestly believe it's just scar tissue but I don't want to think it's nothing and have it be something.

I look back over the last year and I know that I never would have made it through without all the love and support that I got. Thank you to all of you for being there for me and my family! I'm truly blessed with a great family and great friends!

Y-ME Walk 2008

Last year about 1 month after my diagnosis, we participated in the Y-ME National Breast Cancer Organization Walk To Empower. It was an unbelievable event, where my family and friends came out to be there for me in such a surreal and frightening time. In less than 2 weeks we raised over $8000 to help support women with breast cancer. We also had over 70 members on our team, Jual's Gems walking with us! My sister Sara is organizing another team this year and our goal is to raise $9000. We invite you to join us on Mother's Day for the walk in Washington, DC. If you can't join us please consider donating to the Y-ME organization, their slogan is, "no woman should have to face breast cancer alone." I have not faced one step alone in this battle and I'm so thankful for that! I want the same support for everyone who faces this horrible disease! Please go to the website for more information on the walk and on donating! Thank you so much!
Y-ME National Breast Cancer Organization: Walk to Empower - Washington, D.C.:

Good News!!

My CT scan came back clean!! The spot on my lung is still there but there has been no change. It sounds to me that the doctor is not concerned about it at this point. I have another follow-up on Feb. 19. I will post any new info then!

Thank you for all your prayers and words of encouragement! I feel the love and support and it means so much to me! Without all of you and your prayers, love, words of encouragement, and support, I don't know if I could have made it through this whole ordeal!

I feel great! My energy is not as it use to be but hopefully in time this will get better! I'm ready to put this all behind me and move on with my life!!

The plan now is to start Tamoxifen next week (for 5 years) and then regular follow-up appt. every 3 months. I will continue on the clinical trial for the next 3 years!

I know God is hearing our prayers!! So I will continue to pray that he restores my health and keeps me cancer free! God is great! I have seen this, I feel this!!

Happy New Year!

I hope this year will be better than the last! Praise, I'm so relieved to be done with treatment. I've really enjoyed being home with my babies! But I still need your prayers, please! I'm so terrified and can't seem to shake it. I'm should be happy that treatment is over but all I can think about is will it come back. I went for a follow-up last week, blood work looks good, no new symptoms. They are sending me for a follow-up CT scan to look at a small lung nodule. They say it could be nothing and that I could have had it there all my life. Reports from previous scans said it was 2mm back in August and in November 4mm. My doctor assured me that this is not a big difference and just the readings from different radiologist could be the reason for the change. But it terrifies me, What if it is cancer? Please pray that I keep my courage and strength. Please pray that this lung nodule never turns into something that's harmful to my body! Pray that I beat this horrible thing so that I may live my life with my wonderful husband and beautiful children!! Thank you!